i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
