i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
