I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize