There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
