Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
