the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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