a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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