Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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