I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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