Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
