This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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