why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Someone came in the potted fern
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
