my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
