Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
