How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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