I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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