did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
