my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
