considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
