I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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