so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
