I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
