I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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