Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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