Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
