If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
