4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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