i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the liver wants what the liver wants
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
