they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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