windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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