: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
