I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
