she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
