Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it's like iHOP with fire
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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