Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
