You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
