Kiss
Puke
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
