Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
