There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
