well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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