remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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