Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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