that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
