No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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