Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
