Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
