i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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