The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
