I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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