So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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