Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
