What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
