In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My bed smells like the plague
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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