I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
