Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
