I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
