you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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