so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
