I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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