I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
