You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
